wow. positive day. at last. feel great. optomositic, creative. wish i could bottle this.feeling. grateful as hell to be clean today. grateful as hell tha winter is over!. and even more grateful that i am developing some new friendships. i love the possibility that a new friend brings

i am so bloody tired. i want, i want, i want...................when does life happen again. or was my marriage my only shot at happiness. weekends i rest and am very lonely. i'm thankful for the weekend to come and then equally thankful when it is over. at least whn i am at work i have something to do. would i really be happier with a man in life and why is it that a partner would make such a big difference???

so sad the new of alex chilton. life is full of sadness and it is the living that go on and make it all make sense. we work we love we create, that is our obligation our duty

The endless grey spring is draggin me under. I am tired and moody and nothing is light and easy. I would love to be happy, and if happiness is really an inside job well then I have some work to do. I guess I am not unhappy just blah, and I prefer happy.

So I am wondering about the lies we tell ourselves? Are they the same as affirmations? I am a strong independent woman and my body is my own. Does that make it OK for me to be a stripper, have multiple lovers, or even stay isolated?? I can do this on my own? or Am I too afraid to ask for help?? Do I need to accomplish on my own?? Funny how everything is a double edged sword?

Do i have the strength to walk away? How do we get stuck in these situations? Could I possibly be so lonely? Is it just because the sex is great? Spring is in the air and I do feel some strength returning and with that some dignity. Jsut for today I will not pick up that man!

I have been a widow now for almost five years. What confuses me the most now is this dating thing or sex thing or whatever it is I've become involved in. You see I am having the greatest sex ever, with the biggest scoundrel ever!! A man that does not and will not commit and does have another relationship. Can I hear the collective "What the fuck!" I know. How did I come to this?? Scared to commit myself? Settling??

hey there - long time no write well i have nothing to say. surviving winter, new house is cool, heartbreak sucks. gotta get a hobby